Today, as I went for a walk during my lunch break, I asked myself this very question.
What am I trying to do?
The answers followed me all the way back to my desk, compelling me to commit them to paper... starting with I am trying to
* drive a major review at work
* start on my dream creative project, staying accountable to my coach
* make a gift to thank a lovely person
* crochet a blanket
* lose weight
* cut out dairy from my diet and learn about healthy alternatives
* maintain other work projects, including a rather ambitious balanced scorecard initiative
* get some exercise, cycling as often as possible
* let the water level down and be more vulnerable in key relationships
* make a baby (though not on my own!)
* look after my skin
* look after my family
* look after my parents’ house while they are overseas, and prepare it for their return
* catch up on creative projects I’ve let lapse
* stay open to my spirit and learn more about my spirit guides
* get ready for our overseas trip, happening in three weeks
* keep up with the inner excavate-along
* maintain a gratitude practice
* take photos every day
* run a tidy house
* not let anyone down
* go the extra mile for some
* play with, and be available for, my daughter
* spend quality time with my husband
* work out what to do about the menace who keeps letting our tyres down
* return some faulty items
* buy new suitcases
* be a big sister
* remember to get new memory cards for my cameras
* sign up for the next term of yoga/pilates
* embark on an Eastern Therapeutic Writing course and journal every day
* dress fabulously
* keep track of everything I eat
* notice how little fruit I eat
* keep up with twitter (though why, I don’t exactly know)
* rest, occasionally
After I wrote, I sat and looked ay my scribbled list. It didn't feel like a list of complaint. In fact, most of those things I was grateful to have on my list and in my life.
But it did feel like too much. It occurred to me that one of the zanier habits I have is to try and tackle everything on the list, just because I am tackling one thing.
While the list did help me to put some things in perspective -- this one's not urgent, that one will pass soon, these ones can wait -- I have to say that this list made me feel lucky. And made me realise that I am already living many of my dreams.
Maybe it's all about living the list than trying to tick stuff off it.
What are you trying to do, in this moment?
Living the list indeed. Too much yes. I just wrote mine and it is definitely too much. Yet as you say it does not feel like a list of complaint. Yes grateful too. Also grateful for how much more aware I am of my habitual perfectionism :). Yes it helped me to slow down and get some perspective. Not posting my list Kat. Thank you so much once again for your blog and for you being in my blogging world.Each time I read your words you help. Hoping you and the family are feeling better today. xx
ReplyDeleteThis is a great question to ask, one I will definitely be asking myself, and I fear my list is too long also. Thanks Kat. Here's to living the list instead of just ticking the things off it!
ReplyDeleteYour list does seem a bit long but it is also filled with richness and more than a little self care - good for you! =-)
ReplyDelete"Maybe it's all about LIVING the list than trying to tick stuff off it"... these are DEFINITELY words to live by Kat. Thank you for sharing your list and your insight into it. It's always great to read your blog posts and be inspired by your journey!
That is a pretty amazing list. I love that it made you realise you're living your dreams. That's very cool. But I'm glad you also see how much you are trying to achieve and how hard you work.
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