Friday, July 13, 2012
What am I trying to do?
Today, as I went for a walk during my lunch break, I asked myself this very question.
What am I trying to do?
The answers followed me all the way back to my desk, compelling me to commit them to paper... starting with I am trying to
* drive a major review at work
* start on my dream creative project, staying accountable to my coach
* make a gift to thank a lovely person
* crochet a blanket
* lose weight
* cut out dairy from my diet and learn about healthy alternatives
* maintain other work projects, including a rather ambitious balanced scorecard initiative
* get some exercise, cycling as often as possible
* let the water level down and be more vulnerable in key relationships
* make a baby (though not on my own!)
* look after my skin
* look after my family
* look after my parents’ house while they are overseas, and prepare it for their return
* catch up on creative projects I’ve let lapse
* stay open to my spirit and learn more about my spirit guides
* get ready for our overseas trip, happening in three weeks
* keep up with the inner excavate-along
* maintain a gratitude practice
* take photos every day
* run a tidy house
* not let anyone down
* go the extra mile for some
* play with, and be available for, my daughter
* spend quality time with my husband
* work out what to do about the menace who keeps letting our tyres down
* return some faulty items
* buy new suitcases
* be a big sister
* remember to get new memory cards for my cameras
* sign up for the next term of yoga/pilates
* embark on an Eastern Therapeutic Writing course and journal every day
* dress fabulously
* keep track of everything I eat
* notice how little fruit I eat
* keep up with twitter (though why, I don’t exactly know)
* rest, occasionally
After I wrote, I sat and looked ay my scribbled list. It didn't feel like a list of complaint. In fact, most of those things I was grateful to have on my list and in my life.
But it did feel like too much. It occurred to me that one of the zanier habits I have is to try and tackle everything on the list, just because I am tackling one thing.
While the list did help me to put some things in perspective -- this one's not urgent, that one will pass soon, these ones can wait -- I have to say that this list made me feel lucky. And made me realise that I am already living many of my dreams.
Maybe it's all about living the list than trying to tick stuff off it.
What are you trying to do, in this moment?