So, I'm pretty sure I have mentioned it here, but just in case you missed it, my twitter account was suspended the week before last.
There I was, merrily tweeting a link to a post about my grandfather's passing, then retweeting something that I found seriously profound (and was keen to share) and BAM! There it was. A rather officious little banner informing me that I had transgressed the laws of the twitterverse and, until I could demonstrate that I was desisting from such offensive behaviour, I would follow no-one and no-one would follow me.
Ouch.
I duly followed the appeals process, reviewing the rules of tweet engagement, and responding in all honesty that I didn't believe my behaviour had contravened any of them. And begged to suggest that my account had been suspended in error.
Of course, my first thought was, "On no! What have I done?!". Being the sort of person who punishes herself first and hardest, even before being proven guilty, my mind flooded with doubts. Had I retweeted too often? Was I being punished for including the acronym "WTF"? Did twitter dislike the tiny URLs I'd just started using? Was it all those random anomalous followers I'd attracted whose usernames were largely derived from acts of fellation (whom I'd only just learnt that I could block)? Was it because sometimes I was logged in on my phone and on my computer at the same time?
Thankfully that wore off pretty quickly.
I suspect it's just been a mistake.
It's actually been quite amusing: the itchiness I have felt around this suspension.
I mean, I only joined twitter a couple of months ago. And now, in its absence, I feel like something quite big is missing from my daily life.
Twitter is the thing I love to check first thing in the morning, to see what people have been doing (or saying about what they've been doing). I really enjoy following the train of links to discover articles, photos, blog posts, videos.
Twitter is also a useful place to hide when one is procrastinating. Or looking to fill a god-shaped hole with something to read, something to do, something to respond to, something to learn, something to envy, something to buy.
So, in that sense, its absence has been something of a blessing.
Anyhoo, in the spirit of WTF it occurred to me this morning that there was nothing stopping me from starting anew. It seemed time to face the very distinct possibility that the good folk at twitter might never respond to my appeal. And, in any case, my name had already been tarnished.
So, today, I started anew. And that's exactly where you can find me: @kat_anew!
It was surprisingly fun, starting again from the ground up. What new name would I choose? Whom would I follow? What sort of new community would form around in my new space?
This week, what is something simple you can do to start anew? Have you been waiting for something or someone's permission when, in fact, it would be possible to help yourself? Could it be possible to walk away from whatever it was that you thought needed fixing and just start from scratch, on your own terms? Could this also be an opportunity to establish much clearer boundaries, for your self and for others?
My new space feels fresh and bold and that little bit more me. I'm using one of my own paintings as an avatar, and have even gone so far as to put my name to my words. But I also now know that I can get a little smarter when it comes to whom I let in. And that perhaps checking tweets first thing in the morning will never fill that hole, god-shaped or otherwise.
This week, I invite you to carve out a fresh little space for yourself. In could be online, it could be on your bookshelf or on your nightstand, it could be a new journal, it could be taking half an hour to sit in a cafe that you've never been to, it could be booking in for a haircut and whole new look! Whatever it is, give yourself the gift of a clean start, somewhere you can boldly go, more you than ever.
And remember, you get to decide how you are going to use this space and whom (if anyone) you are going to let it.
Because you are worthy of space. And the more you you are, the richer the world is for it.
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