Friday, April 20, 2012
Worst day, best day, just today
I was pretty certain that today was going to be one of the worst days ever. Not because anything especially awful was going to happen. Just because I didn't think I was going to be able to cope.
Actually, let me clarify: I didn't know how I was going to do it all.
Or be it all.
Or be anything, for that matter.
It was my little 'un's first day at kindergarten. It was also a work day for me. It was a day that required careful logistical planning. And learning how to use a Dymo machine to make iron-on labels. Then labelling every item of clothing in my little 'un's wardrobe. (In the end, I drew a line at socks. She can lose a lot of socks. As long as I don't have to iron labels onto every one, I don't care.)
It was a busy work day. I had three meetings (that's three more than usual) and a research deadline. I also had to have a flu vaccination. And leave at lunchtime to meet my little 'un and Mother-in-Law at kinder, to see them settled in the arrival routine. Possibly eat somewhere in there. Then leave early to collect my littlie.
The thing that was going to make all of this run like clockwork was the fact that I was going to ride my bike. Quicker to work, quicker to and from the kinder (or home to get the car and drive everyone to kinder if it was pouring), quicker to collect my littlie at the end of the day.
I woke up to pouring rain.
I also woke after a bad night, which followed a not-so-wonderful day. A day of self-criticism and loathing. An evening of things-not-said, sensory overload, multitasking-gone-haywire, of misunderstandings.
I was feeling small and stupid and so very very inadequate.
And ill-equipped to cope with a tightly packed day.
So when the rain started pouring, I was pretty convinced that all my plans were going to fall apart, mainly because I was about to set out on my bike and cop a decent soaking first up.
Maybe it was a tiny whisper that convinced me to abandon plans to ride in the rain and catch the bus. I think it was just a fluke of timing that one of my meetings was cancelled. I'm very fortunate that the best barista on campus is located a stone's throw from my office, so I used that new little window in my calendar to sneak out and order a flat white... and today my barista not only made me an excellent coffee, he had seriously fabulous hair that made me smile for a good half hour afterwards (just wish I'd had my camera with me!).
I suspect my guardian angel was responsible for the brilliant sunshine that obviated the need for me to return home and ferry everyone to kinder. I was blessed by my Mother-in-law's willingness to take my little 'un to kinder on her own (and, as it turned out, stay for the duration of the session).
Maybe it was the glimmer of some of the things I have been learning about self-care that inspired me to go for a swim during my lunch break instead. It was probably luck that the other two meetings I attended were run efficiently and ended on time. It was calculated good fortune that the grilled haloumi hot roll I picked up for lunch was absolutely delicious.
I was incredibly glad the flu jab lasted less than a millisecond, was conducted punctually, and resulted in no ill effects. I made it comfortably on foot to the tram, which was also -- thanks be to the Goddess -- on time, and I made it to kinder in good time to collect my weary but happy little girl.
As I prepared her a light early dinner, my husband and I had an earnest chat about the clunkiness of our previous night's efforts... and promised to try and signal to each other when we'd prefer to defer our conversation for a quieter time.
Now that my little 'un is in bed, we are doing the last of our private unwinding: me on the computer, him on the playstation. The blue cheese is reaching room temperature.The champagne is chilling. A DVD from our sentimental favourite series is about to be selected.
I'm not sure this all makes it the best day ever, but who cares.
I'll take it.