If you are anything like me today you are: weary; wondering how you will finish your Christmas shopping when your credit card is already maxed out; premenstrual; overwhelmed by the thought of wrapping presents; clawing your way back from a chest infection and two rounds of antibiotics; secretly proud for having managed to write and send Christmas cards this year; grateful you caught the niggly inflamed disc in your lower back early with anti-inflammatories, even though you hate taking the wretched things; secretly checking your mailbox twice a day to see if you've received any Christmas cards; feeling seriously fat in your fat pants; defeated by the crazy weather; a little ashamed of how short-tempered you've been with your little person during this last week but resigned to forgiving yourself because you've been feeling so rotten; less interested in showering than usual; pining for your antibiotics to finish so you can drink some festive champagne or cider; wondering how everyone else manages to look and make so pretty; wishing that everyone else in the house would be as keen to listen to Sufjan Stevens' Christmas albums as you are.
If you're anything like me, you're also probably loving all the opportunities for reflection that come with this time of year, and hold great hope for what the new year will bring. You might be looking forward to the festive season and a bit of quiet family time, and anticipating the joy on your loved ones' faces when they receive the gorgeous gifts you've so carefully chosen. You may also feel a delicious surge of energy to finish things projects that have been stagnating for the past few months, and start the new year afresh. You could also feel motivated to seek out special opportunities for the new year in the form of e-courses, collaborative projects, refreshed approaches to your favourite creative endeavours. You might also be wary of setting goals, making resolutions, committing to certain "healthy living strategies" or opting in to any sort of scheme that's going to make your new year feel hemmed in, or set up to fail.
And if any of this resonates with you, you might just have come full circle and find yourself feeling just like me: weary.
I don't really have much by way of meaningful words or experience to offer today. I've been thinking a lot and working quite hard and dreaming a lot and feeling quite hopeful and trying to rest and, above all, doing as good a job as I can of staying present.
So, today, all I really want to do is take a break. Go for a gentle walk. Make a toasted sandwich and salad for lunch, and eat it like a picnic in front of A Cat in Paris with my little 'un. I might also make a pot of tea and crochet a little, or recline extravagantly with the most recent edition of Frankie. A bath would be nice, but at this point seems like a little too much effort. That said, I wouldn't be surprised if I find myself wrapping Christmas presents a little later on while my little 'un naps, sipping hot chocolate and listening to Sufjan Stevens.
Will you join me today, in giving yourself a break? Will you log off, take a deep breath, go for a walk? Will you put down the To Do and To Buy and To Be list? Will you sit down and put your feet up? Will you read something fun and pretty? Will you listen to something soothing, something that makes you happy?
Seems to me that this might be a good investment of your time and energy today. There's a lot going on. And you deserve to step out of it, and recharge your batteries. You are worthy of rest.
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