Things I could tell you

We stayed in our pyjamas all day yesterday, baked a chocolate cake and watched Azur et Asmar, My Neighbour Totoro and A Cat in Paris on DVD.

She had a terrible cold and I was feeling sad and exhausted. We had one or two really quite unsatisfactory moments during the course of the day.

A walk would have done us both the world of good. The climate just didn’t feel conducive, externally or internally.

While my little ‘un was napping, I wrote a little, read a little, then watched a very sweet and moving DVD. I also washed dishes and swept the floor, activities that help me feel “good” and a bit more on top of things.

The DVD ended with the song The Rose sung in Japanese, with subtitles in English. The lyrics made me cry.

A very special dress that I ordered arrived in the mail. It really is very beautiful and I’ll get a lot of wear out of it, come Summer. I suspect I won’t look anywhere as fabulous as this, though.

I flaked out by 9pm. I’d flaked out by 8pm the night before. I still woke up tired.

This curriculum is really helping me to see the role that food plays in my life and the synergies it has with the other work I am doing has been pretty mindblowing. Thank you, sweet Jen, for inviting me to experience this with you.

I’m enrolled in a bazillion (well, two) fantastic and highly recommended e-courses and have contributed nothing to either community. This makes me feel a little guilty. I’m savouring the beautiful emails that arrive in my in-box and marinating in the questions for a few moments... then filing them away for a rainy (or more sunny) day.

I have been resisting making art. I have also been writing only reluctantly. I am grateful that these gifts are patient. And forgiving.

The stunning white magnolia against a grey Winter sky (pictured above) forced me to truly open my eyes this morning, while waiting for the bus.

I know this is going to sound a bit strange, but the detail on this spoon brought me a warm inner glow as I made my coffee in the kitchen next to my office. (So much so that I had to bring it home and photograph it, as my point-and-shoot wouldn’t cooperate. I was also a little apprehensive about being caught in the act of photographing a spoon by my colleagues. I promise I will return it on Monday.)

When in doubt, I am deciding to dress fabulously. And fabulous, in my definition, includes pyjamas.

I really needed a caffeine and sugar hit this afternoon. I fully knew all the reasons why this was the case. So I decided to let myself have it, without fear or loathing.

I did also enjoy a somewhat more nourishing treat of Mariage Freres green tea with jasmine. And I haven’t yet consumed my bodyweight in chocolate... which is becoming my barometer for how much pain I am feeling.

I am so grateful for this community, and all the generous and wise comments I receive. To be honest, I was a bit embarrassed by this week’s Worthiness Wednesday post. I feared it was TOO MUCH. You know: Too Whingy; Too Uninspiring; Too Similar to other Posts; Too Embarrassing.

And, perhaps at the moment I was berating myself for these things, dear souls emerged to comment and email and share that they could relate to what I had written. I hope you know just how much this makes my soul sing, and how much it feeds what I am coming to see as my role in this crazy cosmos.

These things I could tell you... all of which would be true.