Putting the finishing touches on my One Little Word project for February... having spent the best part of a week beating myself up for all the things I've been discovering in the process of psychological excavation... finally understanding that the antidote really does lie in three deceptively simple words: I am worthy.
My ambivalence about blogging and reluctance to really immerse myself in artmaking is beginning to make sense... and I'm grateful for being guided towards connections between worth/validation and experiences of the impostor syndrome that have left deep imprints on my psyche... though not always succeeding in being tender with myself in the process.
Looking around me: beloved ones are blossoming, though still others struggle; there is so much to be done, yet there is good reason to sit still and quiet; the news is relentless in its terrible tidings, but the day may yet reveal tiny moments of elation; exhaustion is inevitable, but it is a privilege to keep going.
I am still seeing feathers everywhere. My little 'un turns two on Wednesday. With apologies to E. L. Doctorow: I can only see as far as my headlights, but I know I can make the whole journey that way.
I have jsut begun reading Liz's book, Inner Excavation....though I feel I've been unearthing parts of myself for years and years now, there is still work to be done. I so appreciate your honesty here...it is a breath of fresh air, this real-ness you always share...
ReplyDeleteand thank you for your tender words to me.
They mean so much more than you know.
I'm with you on this journey sister. I'm with you....